Keep eternally..

never say never

never really confident of himself, he plays down the rumours with a snigger. the rumours that had been circulating and spreading like wildfire in his school, for several weeks now. he shoos away his buddies and others, every single time they asked. don't get me wrong--but never one time did he actually deny these speculations. in fact, he was rather passive about it, always uttering the famous "no comment" line, to shut off those busy bodies.

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"these rumours will be gone as soon as the people find someone else to gossip about." he muttered to himself each time the rumours bothered his train of thoughts. as a matter of fact, "bothered" is an understatement. causing havocs and crashing cars in his head, everytime he wondered what if they were true. If. only if they were true, how beautiful would it be. the warm breeze and jazz music in his head were only beginning before they were interrupted abruptly by a sudden surge of pessimism.

"nah. dreams will only remain as dreams. and a frog shall always remain a frog." he reminds himself. such was his realistic perspective on life, for he is never really confident of himself.

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but, late at night, when he finds it hard to fall asleep, often times he would stare blankly at the ceiling. pondering and thinking for hours, still he could not figure out a reasonable explanation. its funny that he could solve difficult mathematic sums in such short period of time, yet after many sleepless nights, he still could not explain why,

why he gets tongue- tied and they never get past "hello",
why couldnt he shake this feeling off and move on, like he vowed himself to.

a cloud of confusion rains over him as this feelings grow stronger each time he thought of her.

he decided the only way to stop this craziness, and kill this emotions from within, is to confront her.

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20 minutes before the final school bell, still he hasnt got an opportunity to see her face to face. hoping that a chat with her would give him some much needed clarity, he wanted to diminish all hope left in him and shut the voices in his head up, before breaking free from all the confusion.

there she was, walking in such graceful strides with her friends after class. its an oddity that 5 of them were walking together but he only sees her. her beaming smile shines through his heart with such warmth that he forgot how it was to be cold. gazing in awe her every movement, from the bounce of her silky black hair to the sound of her perky voice, all the questions that were troubling him 2 minutes ago had been forgotten. and that wasnt the only thing he had forgotten.

"hey, you wanted to see me?" she broke the silence. for a minute there, he was blank.

still in disbelief that she was actually talking to him, he had trouble remembering what he had intented to say. it only got worse when their eyes met.

"yes, what is it?" she was getting impatient.

"here goes everything!" he thought to himself. a chance to have a clean break from this emotionally draining rumour mill beckoned.

but for some reason, he hesitated. he just could not do it. right at that moment, he knew he was falling for her.
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"she loves me, she loves me not, she loves me, she loves me not..."he was on the brink of losing his mind trying to guess what was on hers. then he slapped some sense into himself.

"she s the most beautiful girl in the world. and im just me. it wont happen."he tried to convince himself over and over again, hoping that it would somehow drown out this feeling inside. but then again he s not that naive.

refusing to follow his heart and fall deeper and deeper in love, yet he didnt had the heart in him to deny something so beautiful and promising.

"was she for real? only time will tell. and only if you give yourself a chance to try. because when you never try, you will never know."he rationalize himself.

feeling doubtful and uncertain that true love would ever happen to him, he hesitates. Dithering around in his circle of confusion, while she withers further and further away each day. for he knows clearly that odds are really against them being friends again if this doenst work out. it was a risk. and he wasnt sure it was risk worthwhile taking. both swinging back and forth at the very end of a thread, but still holding on tighly somehow.

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fate had its way when they both found each other in amongst the big crowd during marathon day. hand in hand they walked past the starting line. but unlike everyone else, they werent heading for the finish line. slow strolling around the local lake countless times while enjoying each others' company, they didnt really care about the marathon even if there was one million bucks up for grabs.

Although spiderman certainly wasnt exactly the most romantic movie on show, but its who you watch it with that really matters. at times it was awkward when their eyes met despite the thriller that was unfolding on the silver screen ahead of them. they smiled shyly and turned away. they didnt really talk much, but it was comfortable and soothing. like the perfect fit between her hand and his, so comfortable, that he would not mind holding it until the day he dies.

it was a beautiful day. in fact, he would remember this day for as long as he lives. for today was a defining day in his life. he believed. something miraculous happened that very night when the frog in him turned into a prince, as he was loved. and he still is.

(special thank to GABRIEL boss)muack :P